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Sometimes it seems like my boyfriend and I speak different love languages. Is there any legitimacy to this concept?

Answer: Yes. In fact, Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled “The Five Love Languages,” which speaks to this very issue. The five love languages, according to Chapman, are

1. Words of affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Receiving gifts

4. Acts of service

5. Physical touch

This writer has often referred to such differences as love styles, and has categorized them as verbal, giving, doing, and touching.

The problem arises when you have one love language, or style, and your significant other has another. Let’s say you love through giving gifts, but he loves through words of affirmation. You may wonder why he is not responding to your gifts as you would if you were receiving them; and he may be wondering why you are not responding to his cascade of compliments; while your gifts may be causing him to feel pressure, or an uncomfortable need to reciprocate, while his words of affirmation may be causing you to feel conned, or like he is expecting from you!

When people have these differences, it is literally like speaking English to someone who speaks French, and wondering why they aren’t getting it!

So spend some time talking with each other, and try to figure out what your significant other’s love language, or style is!